Funny

Very True

Population Control

Spotted on the Krugersdorp highway yesterday at 140km/hr.

Brave, very brave.

I need to bitch.

This shit has too stop!!!!

Boy sees dad being shot

Mom shot dead for screaming

But this is more important?

Metro cops herd cars on highway

Do me a favour! Get your priorities right. People are dying!

How can i honestly not think about finding a safer place to bring my daughter up in?

She Smiles!!!

I always thought being a dad would be cool but tough. It turns out its so cool you dont realise its tough.

When they flash that toothless grin at you it all seems too easy!

I must however admit that the dirty nappy thing has still got me mock charging at every turn but im hoping thats just a silly dad stage!

I am doubting that mom will be going back to work anytime soon though(if ever) which im actually very cool with, i really would prefer the boss gets her mom around than the money mom brings in.

On other matters:

Work: Is going absolutely ape shit. A good ape though so its all good.

Holidays: Booked family on cruise and hopefully a ripper of a new years with mates back on dry land.

Dad: Still on chemo but seems to be doing fine, watching him with my daughter is insane, i ever thought he would be half as taken as he is.

Have a good weekend kids.

Later!

So sad!

This just kills me. Not only for the loss of a life of a kid but what the dad must be going through and what the rest of his life will be like.

Giving my lovely little one a huge hug tonight!

Dude: My thoughts are with you and your family. May you little boy be safe in the arms of angels.

Feed it garlic and potatoes

Health minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang has been admitted to hospital with a lung infection, her spokesman said on Friday.

blaa blaaa



The Department of Health wished her a speedy recovery.


I dont. I would prefer if it fell through its ass.


Or as an anonymous source put it:

Ventilate that lung with a 9mm lead capsule

My Angel - Bent....

Get Better Soon Hamster!

Dont you dare stop improving! You beauty!

Out of Office

Im outta here for the rest of the week. Taking some time in Durban with the family.

Take care .

Anyone notice something wrong with this paragraph?

"His first novel, Spud, published by Penguin Books and launched nationally in September 2005, became an instant bestseller. The book was also selected for the Exclusive Books Publishers Choice 2005. John is currently doing an artist in residency at The Rhaboobeah Hilton and is completing the sequel to Spud which will be published by Penguin Books and released in late 2006. "


From http://www.ukzn.ac.za/cca/images/tow/TOW2006/bios/Ruit.htm

The good news, aside from him doing an artist, is there is a sequel on the way.

Morning Idiocy

Not sure what the fucking rocket scientists pictured above on the right side of the road thought the oncoming traffic would do?????????

Here's more of the tools.

If anyone knows any of the cars/people above please get in contact with me, i havent met a complete fucking moron in a while.

My Little Sleep Depriver

And well worth every long day!

Its rude to stare....

I cant explain why but this really made my day yesterday.....

My Angel Arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has arrived! 2 weeks early but in very good shape.


















She is amazing. Even if i do say so myself.

Imagine this at JHB stadium!

Or anywhere in SA for that matter!

4 weeks and counting!

She's in there somewhere!

I have a funny feeling we aren’t going to make the caesarian date.....

Life’s about to change in a big way. I can honestly say im happy for it to do so.
If i never have another hangover again so be it. Although I doubt it.


Life’s weird though. As time nears for the birth of my daughter I find out my dads got cancer.
He's having an operation this week to remove a tumor from his colon but the prognosis looks as good as having cancer can be.

Life. Odd.

FYI....

My daughter makes her arrival today in 5 weeks time.....




Im shitting myself, in a good way though!

Romance Scoring

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do
something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,
that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1) You go out to buy
her
what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted
the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)



YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter
what]

You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Pass the joint, bru

Classic!



You have to love the average municiple workers dedication to their jobs!













"Instead of writing the stop road marking sign that all motorists and pedestrians are familiar with, the eThekwini Municipality's Traffic Operations unit officials made a blunder by putting in "SOTP". The word is not available in any of South Africa's 11 official languages."


I love SA!